Paul Michelsen, as of 7:52 ante meridiem, Pacific Standard Time, on December Sixteenth, in the Year of our Lord Twenty-Hundred Seventeen, at the age of 44, stood six feet, three inches tall, and weighed precisely 196.0 pounds, wearing only his regular prescription eyeglasses and a scapular, for religious purposes. He was torn from the womb in New York on a fateful day in which both mother and child almost died. Michelsen now lives, if one could call it a life, in the Las Vegas Valley in Nevada, in the United States of America. He likes taking walks on the beach (man-made beaches at the hotel-casinos) and skipping through dangerous neighborhoods, unarmed. He has one beautiful wife, two wonderful children, an active third eye, a four-legged Labradoodle, and often feels like a fifth wheel. And speaking of the Wheel, he would like to buy a vowel.